I'm eating a cookie and u arn't.

Thoughts of the day:

-I'm not fat, i just din't contract after my very hot shower.

-Can we be friends? No?
Oh, then can we be lovers?

-The most HORRIBLE joke in the galaxy, yet my favourite joke as a kid:
What do you call a witch who lives by the sea?
Sandwitch.
*insert laughter here*

-Ask me 'Can we be friends?'
Ask.
My reply: 'No'.

-Can i refund your kiss for money?

-Touch me. I'm insured.

-I scribbled my name in your wallet, so that hopefully when you think of me, you'll be buying and you'll connect the dots.

-Some people make so bad jokes, that it hurts because my laughter turns negative.

-Fake 'i miss you's are equivalent to 'fuck off's.